January 2, 2010

Resolutions: Don’t Give Up! Give In.

Posted in Mindful Living tagged , , , , , , , at 2:54 pm by moondeva

Welcome to 2010!
Although I’ve never been a big New Year’s resolution-maker (I set intentions throughout the year), a lot of people find the beginning of the calendar year a motivational time to reflect on their lives and what they do or do not want.
With any resolution, the most important thing that I’ve discovered is to frame the desired change in a positive way, and focus on the underlying need that you are trying to meet. Maybe you’re resolving to get more sleep. Great idea! There are many reasons why you might not be getting enough sleep, and many strategies to get more. Regardless of what your particulars are, in general you are motivated by an underlying need for _______(fill in the blank). Rest? Repair? Quiet? Slowing down? By naming your underlying need, the part of yourself that needs attention knows that you are listening, and that you want to attend to it. You know how good it feels when you’ve been searching for the right word, and then finally, you remember it? Same thing with naming your need. It’s a relief on so many levels.
Now, getting more sleep may mean that you are “giving up” something else, like your favorite late-night tv show or fitting in all the chores before you go to bed. Shift your focus to what you are “giving to” yourself and envision (often) how your life/mind/body will feel once you have given to yourself. You may miss the season finale and the dishes might be dirty when you wake up but, you will also be refreshed, rested, clear-minded, calm, and healthier. Hold these positive outcomes in your thoughts every time you find yourself struggling with your resolve. I like to think of this aspect of a resolution as “Giving In” – giving much-needed care and attention Inward by listening to your needs and responding to them by making healthy choices.
As you listen in, what are some needs that are wanting to be met? How will you meet those needs? What kind of care will you “Give In” ? I’m interested in your process, let me know!
Also, if you want to super-charge your intention setting, you’re invited to my upcoming Sound, Silence & Stillness Mini-retreat. 4 hours of nurturing that’s not to be missed!